Forgotten Films: Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-a-Rama (1988)

Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-a-Rama promises B-movie sex and violence — and it delivers.

By Scott A. Cupp

This is the 167th in my series of Forgotten, Obscure or Neglected Films.

It has been a while since I did a really bad B film. (Fans might remember the enthusiastic review of Zombeavers last August.) The other day, I was reviewing a DVD catalog and this film was available for about $7 and I knew I should see it. When it comes to horror movies, I’ve got a soft spot for so-called Scream Queens, and Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-a-Rama promised plenty. I’ve only ever met one Scream Queen — Jewel Shepard, when she was signing her book If I’m So Famous, How Come Nobody’s Ever Heard of Me? She was a very fun signer and I really enjoyed talking with her. Her book was a hoot and a half, too.

Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-a-Rama has, hands down, one of the great sleazy names for a B horror film (not that Zombeavers was any sort of slouch). It really tells you what your audience is going to be. You got college girls, horror, bowling and slimeballs. Well, in truth, you only sort of have slimeballs.

College roommates Keith, Jimmy and Calvin (John Stuart Wildman, Hal Havins and Andras Jones, respectively) are bored one night. Calvin’s playing a video game, Jimmy’s drinking beers and Keith wants one of the beers. Jimmy is not the giving sort, but Keith offers up that he knows where Delta Delta Delta sorority is doing their pledge initiation that night. The sorority, known as Felta Delta, promises to have some salacious happenings. So the boys go over to see what they might.

Pledges Taffy and Lisa (Scream Queens Brinke Stevens and Michelle Bauers, respectively) are on the wrong end of a sorority paddle and an aerosol whip cream attack from initiation masters and all-around bitches Frankie, Rhonda, and Babs (Carla Baron, Kathi O’Brecht and Robin Rochelle). Babs has some sadistic ideas for finishing up the initiation, when the boys are discovered inside the Delta house watching Lisa and Taffy shower. Soon, all six are sent off to the mall bowling alley to secure a bowling trophy. Babs’ dad owns the mall and they plan on doing some mean stuff to the group.

Inside the bowling alley, Calvin runs across punk thief Spider (huge Scream Queen Linnea Quigley) ripping off the gaming machines and register. He tries to pick her up, but she’s not having any of it. Eventually, though, she helps the group get into the area with the trophies. They steal a large one that’s 30 years old.

Unfortunately, they accidentally drop the old trophy, and out of it comes an ancient imp (voiced by Dukey Flyswatter). The imp is grateful for his release and offers each of the folks a wish. Jimmy orders lots of gold, but Calvin cautions that things might not be as good as they seem.

Keith wants to have sex with Lisa and Impy makes her amenable to the idea. Suddenly, Babs, Rhonda and Frankie interrupt things and we find out that Calvin was absolutely correct in not trusting the imp. Of the 10 main characters (the nine listed plus a janitor for comedic relief), eight are going to die. I hope I’m not spoiling it for anyone, but this one is nearly 30 years old and has been shown a lot. Just because I never saw does not imply that you did not.

We have knifings, smashed heads by bowling ball, flame thrower, deep fryer, decapitation, zombie-ism, Bride of Frankenstein-itis (for Frankie, of course), being pulled apart and more. The mayhem is handled very effectively. The budget was low but you can tell the movie makers put it all onto the screen.

All in all, this one delivers exactly what it promises: a B movie with sex and violence and some humor. If, like me, you enjoy that sort of thing, this movie is definitely for you. Be warned, though, this is not Akira Kurasawa or Citizen Kane, and if that’s what you want, well, to each their own. As I always say, your mileage may vary. I was glad to finally see this one. Maybe you will be too. If not, there’s always next week.

Series organizer Todd Mason hosts more Tuesday Forgotten Film reviews at his own blog and posts a complete list of participating blogs.


Forgotten Films: Zombeavers (2014)

Zombeavers: Best viewed with a sick sense of humor.

This is the 131st in my series of Forgotten, Obscure or Neglected Films

I first heard about this film about a month ago and my initial thought was “No way! Such a wonderful play on words. It’s probably not any good.  But, is it bad enough to be good?” So, I checked Netflix and it was there, so, one afternoon, I waited for the wife to leave since I pretty well knew what her reaction would be.

This is got the makings of your basic R rated sex/horror film.  Three college sorority sisters (Mary, Jenn, and Zoe played by Rachel Melvin, Lexi Atkins and Cortney Palm, respectively) are off for a weekend away from their boyfriends, cell phones and civilization at a lake cabin owned by Mary’s cousin. Unbeknownst to them, two slacker idiots (Bill Burr and rocker John Mayer) who were texting and driving have managed to hit a deer. The resulting crash sends a barrel of toxic waste into the river that feeds the lake by the cabin.

The girls are trying to help Jenn who has caught a Facebook photo of her boyfriend Sam with a mysterious woman who is not her. So, no boys allowed – until they show up, in a plot hatched by Zoe.  Guys and girls get naked and sex happens. Except between Jenn and the cheating Sam.

Things are interrupted by the appearance of scraggly looking zombie beaver who does not know how to die. Everyone decides he is a fluke and goes back to the evening’s adventures. The next day, they all decide to go swimming in the lake except Jenn who is eventually coaxed into the edge of the water. Here she feels something brush up against her and everyone makes fun of her until the zombeaver attacks Zoe’s boyfriend Buck and it bites his foot off. Suddenly a full scale beaver apocalypse is going on and the zany kinds are out on a raft in the lake. They need a distraction and Zoe’s pissy little dog provides both a distraction and lunch for the beavers.

From here, the film becomes your basic Spam in a cabin with everyone trying to stay alive and the zombeavers trying hard to prevent that from happening. People die in the course of the film as well as a bear. Phone lines have been chewed, roads have been blocked, and Buck is not doing well.

Sandi came back home and watched the end of the film with me.  Her basic comment was “Ya’ll are all sick” which is why I was watching it alone. It’s a fun little film, lots of gratuitous nudity and swearing. It’s trying to be Evil Dead II good, but not quite there. There are some interesting scenes and effects. The beavers are cheesy but, hey, it is a low budget film, very low budget.

It will never replace Citizen Kane but I had fun. If the description sounds like something you might like, give it a try. If not, I’m sure there’s an Ivory Merchant film on cable (or in your library). And, as with all bad movies, your mileage and humor may vary from mine so keep that in mind.

And watch out for beavers – zombie or otherwise. Oh, and there is quick scene at the end after all the credits, for your amusement. Almost like a Marvel film.

Series organizer Todd Mason hosts more Tuesday Forgotten Film reviews at his own blog and posts a complete list of participating blogs.