My pals Ted and Jessie loaned me their copy of the Japanese schoolgirl vs. Yakuza comic gorefest “The Machine Girl.” And let me tell you, it delivers on everything promised by the trailer. The title heroine loses her arm to a sadistic mob boss and has it replaced with a high-caliber machine gun. What ensues could best be described as a campy splatterfest that occupies a space somewhere between “Dead Alive” and “Kill Bill.” “Machine Girl” has it all — people ripped to pieces by flying shuriken, faces ripped off by machine-gun fire, ninjas in track suits, chainsaw fights, barfed up intestinal tracts, finger sushi, drill bras and more severed limbs than you can shake a stump at. And did I mention the flying guillotine? I’m buying it tomorrow.